Because I can bake

20 June 2009

Every once in a while, someone gets an idea that Nicola would be much better off with them instead of what’s-her-name-Eskridge. Fair enough, I guess, although it’s a notion that comes with a built-in disappointment factor of seven million zillion (and about a trillion million zillion if you are a guy). Sometimes, these folks actually think they can get Nicola’s attention by being rude to me: we’ve been in situations where the Hopeful Other, upon being introduced to both of us, looks straight at Nicola with a melty-mouth smile and says, “Oh, I’m so glad that you could make it” — emphasis hers — and then utterly ignores me. Snort. Just so you know, if you do this kind of thing, we laugh at you on the way home.

In fact, here is my best advice to those who would impress my sweetie: if you cannot make Rhubarb Apple Crumble, girlfriend, pack your bags and move your ass out of line.

RHUBARB APPLE CRUMBLE
adapted from a recipe by Lynne Rossetto Kasper

    Filling

  • 3 cups diced green apples (1/2-inch to 1-inch pieces)
  • 3 cups diced rhubarb (fresh or frozen)
  • 1 cup white sugar
  • Grated zest of 1 small lemon
  • Generous pinch of salt
  • Generous pinch of ground nutmeg
  • 4 tablespoons cornstarch
    Topping

  • 10 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature
  • 1/3 cup white sugar
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 1 1/2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (spoon into measuring cup and level, don’t scoop it in or pack it down)
  • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour (also spoon and level)
  • Heavy whipping cream (for serving)
  1. Butter a shallow 7-cup baking dish.
  2. Preheat oven to 350 F.
  3. Combine all filling ingredients in a bowl and turn them gently into the baking dish.
  4. Using an electric beater, cream the butter, both sugars, salt and vanilla at medium speed until very light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
  5. Combine the two flours and sift half into the butter mixture. Then beat on low for just a few seconds. Don’t overdo it.
  6. Work in the rest of the flour into the butter mixture with your hands until large crumbles form. Be gentle, don’t beat, and don’t overmix.
  7. Spoon the crumbles over the filling in the baking pan. Don’t pack it down.
  8. Bake at 350 on center rack for 45-55 minutes or until topping is golden brown and filling is bubbling.
  9. Remove from oven and allow to cool. Serve at room temperature or re-warm gently in oven.
  10. Serve with heavy whipping cream to pour on top.

Enjoy.

Posted by Kelley | Filed Under blog 

Comments

9 Responses to “Because I can bake”

  1. Mark Tiedemann on June 20th, 2009 6:27 am

    The food challenge, yes…trial by compote!

  2. Anonymous on June 20th, 2009 6:29 am

    Do people just not get the beauty and — I’ll say it — sacredness — of serious relationships?

    About five years into our twenty year relationship, we did some drastic pruning of other wimmin who tried to mess with our relationship. Been very peaceful since :)

  3. Elbereth Lorenz on June 20th, 2009 11:53 am

    I feel you. Same thing happens with Kurt and I. He’s the dreamy one that ladies think they can swoop in and steal from me. Heh – if only they knew…but I can’t bake as well as you. Must gain some new skills this summer!

  4. Delia on June 20th, 2009 3:02 pm

    Yeah, the pies(sweet and savory)/crumbles/bettys are what make Ellen happy, too. Which reminds me. I’ve got a bunch of rhubarb in the fridge, and a heap of aging strawberries. I better get chopping.

  5. lonelypond on June 20th, 2009 10:47 pm

    Ha…very good. Gayle just claims she glares at people I never notice, although she does bake a mean chocolate chip walnut cookie.

  6. Fran on June 21st, 2009 7:25 am

    Lillian and I are still in that stay-at-home-together sort of honeymoon phase (after six years you’d think we’d've moved on but no), so we haven’t had that issue come up. Or if we have, we’ve been so oblivious we just never noticed.

    Somebody trying to get between you two. Snort indeed.

    But let me tell you, if Lillian wasn’t diabetic, I’d be all over that recipe! It sounds just too yummy for words!

  7. Stacy on June 23rd, 2009 11:52 am

    “…if you cannot make Rhubarb Apple Crumble, girlfriend, pack your bags and move your ass out of line.”

    LOL

    Thanks for the coffee snort!

  8. Realmcovet on July 10th, 2009 1:23 pm

    That’s right!! Serve up that humble pie!!! Great post!

  9. Kelley on July 11th, 2009 9:19 am

    So happy to have given you all a smile. I tell ya, food is one of the true paths to relationship stability. When N and I met, I was the White Food Queen of the World — white bread, white pasta, white rice, instant mashed potatoes from a box… and along comes poor old Nicola with her lentils, brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole grain bread, and an actual potato masher (a thing I had no idea even existed). But we’ve managed to work all that out. :)